I Am Jealous Because Someone Will Make You Happier Than I Did

At first, when I realized this, I have to say I was pissed. I was doing even the impossible to make you happy, but I saw that you were never truly satisfied. I considered you to be ungrateful and I thought you didn’t appreciate all my efforts. But then it hit me-you couldn’t be happy by my side no matter how much both of us tried to make it happen. It was impossible because you never loved me with the same intensity I loved you.

Then, I became frustrated at you for not loving me back. Or at least, I thought I was. But later I’ve figured out that I was actually sad and devastated because of this and I was only masking my sadness with anger. It was easier for me to keep finding your flaws and to accuse you of being heartless than to simply accept the fact that you didn’t love me. And to accept that there is not much philosophy about it and most of all, that there was and that there will never be anything I can do about it. I’ve finally come to terms with that.