I Am Jealous Because Someone Will Make You Happier Than I Did

I envy her because she’ll have you in all the ways I never had you. I envy her because she will see all your weaknesses and vulnerabilities. She will get to know you in all the ways I didn’t. And I know she will be special. But most of all—she will make you happier than I ever did. And that is what I’m mostly jealous of.

I am jealous of all the nights she’ll fall asleep in your arms and of all the mornings she’ll wake up next to you. I am jealous of every time you’ll kiss her with the love you never kissed me with. I am jealous of all of your conversations, of all the times she will tell you she loves you and all the times you will tell it back to her. I am jealous of the children she will give to you and of the fact that you two will grow old together.

I will always wonder what it was that I didn’t have that she will have. What is it that you’ll love in her that you could never find in me? How come I could never make you happy?

But I guess those are all questions I’ll never get the answer to.