How To Tell You Are In A Cement Strong Relationship
Being in a relationship and not being able to tell it’s strength is not an easy thing. And most of the time, it isn’t the obvious things that matter. People in long-term relationships will wake up on some days not desiring to look at each other in the face. It happens!
When you have an argument with your better half, that doesn’t mean you don’t have a strong relationship! Don’t be mistaken. It isn’t your common interests that define how close you are. You could be into games and sports while your partner is a couch potato. Does that mean you don’t love each other anymore?
After years of studying relationships, psychologists have come up with ways to know you are in a strong relationship. The following is a discussion of these six general ideas:
- Your partner is always on your mind
Researchers have established that people who think of their partners when they apart feel more in love with each other. In 2007, the researchers investigated this truth. They made phone calls to close to 300 married people. What followed was a series of questions about their relationships and how much in love they felt. Those who thought of their partners when they were apart reported stronger feelings of love.
So, what does this say about your relationship? How often do you think about your partner? Do they think of you? If you are one of those people who sends a random text or email to your partner when you are apart, then you have a strong relationship. The text or email might not be romantic, but it speaks volumes. It lets your partner know you are thinking of them more often.
- Truth is the fire that runs your relationship
When you are in a relationship, you often need to speak the naked truth. It will sometimes be uncomfortable, but the truth must be said. Strong relationships are those of which people speak honestly and freely. There shouldn’t be a topic that you can’t discuss. Whatever the subject is, there should be a mutual understanding that both of you are heard.
When you are in a relationship that values, trust, and honesty are paramount. This is as compared to avoiding conflict. That’s how you’ll make celebrating your golden jubilee anniversary. Are you and your partner, communicating consistently and truthfully? If ‘yes’ you have a very strong relationship.
- You value each other more than you do others
Researchers have identified four different ways that people show commitment. As such, your relationship is likely to be conflict-ridden, dramatic, socially-involved or partner-focused.
If you are in a conflict-ridden relationship, you fight often and have a lot of slight fluctuations in your commitment levels. Those in a dramatic relationship, have extreme fluctuations in their commitment to the union over time.
People in socially-involved relationships have fluctuations in their level of commitment based on what friends and family think about the union. As for the partner-focused couples, they tend to see their partner more positively and experience fluctuations when they don’t spend time together.
Of the four, it is the people in partner-focused relationships that are stronger together. Dramatic couples don’t last to see “till death does us part”.
If you are in a strong relationship, it’s most likely partner-focused.
- You fight, sometimes
Any two people in a relationship will find themselves in disagreements. That’s normal. If you never fight, then you are most likely holding back. But that doesn’t mean you should fight lots of times to be in a strong relationship!
When you fight frequently, it only indicates how fickle your relationship is. You aren’t in a strong relationship when you engage in name-calling, put-downs or trying to score points. People who love each other fight in a fair and productive way. They seek to resolve the issue at hand and not escalate it. And they apologize when in the wrong.
Most importantly, couples in a strong relationship know how to recover from a fight. They know how to repair the strained bond. It’s all about how you approach a conflict and not avoiding one. In a strong relationship, they have the unwritten rule of listening to your partner when they are upset.
Your partner knows you take your time to listen. And once you have the issue at hand, you strive to make amends. If you do that consistently, you are in a strong relationship. Attack the issue, not each other!
- You explore new things together
According to a 1993 study, couples who try new and exciting things together report being more satisfied in their relationships. The researchers in this study picked more than 50 married couples and assigned them into three groups.
The couples in the first group selected fun activities to do together for 90 minutes in a week, like dancing and going to a play. While the second group spent 90 minutes engaged in pleasant but routine activities, like watching movies. The third group changed nothing. An assessment of the couple’s relationship quality after 10 weeks revealed that those who had tried new and exciting things were most satisfied.
So, if you and your partner never stop exploring new and exciting things together, then you are definitely in a strong relationship.
- You have your own life
So you are in love? It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to spend every second together. Take time apart to pursue new friendships and interests to keep your relationship fresh. This is your opportunity to grow as individuals and also as a couple.
Be on the lookout! Do you place increasing demands on your spouse? Your better half doesn’t have to be involved in your finances or business. By setting them free to follow their own pursuits, you are giving them a chance for personal fulfillment.
While at it, it’s wise to note that you don’t need to depend on your partner for all your needs. Whether you are a man or woman, find hobbies, friends, and work to keep you occupied. If you and your partner have your own lives and have no problem with it, then you have a strong relationship.
So, How strong is your relationship?
