How To Avoid Getting Involved With an Immatured Man 

How To Avoid Getting Involved With an Immatured Man 

Our love interests vary wildly depending on how old we are. We usually start by falling in love with the prettiest girl or the most handsome boy. Later on, we begin our search for people with whom we feel a deeper connection. It’s said that women mature quicker than men, which is why there are so many cases of relatively young girls looking for something they can’t find among guys of their own age. But telling how mature your love interest really is can be tougher than it seems. Avoiding relationships with men who are simply not worth the trouble starts by learning the signs of male immaturity, and ends in finding out what you as a woman can do to start attracting those who are mature.

 

How can you tell whether he’s immature?

He doesn’t treat you with respect. The way a man treats you says a lot about the person he really is. An immature man won’t really listen to you or try to get to know you at all. You won’t feel like you’re part of a team, but a fleeting love interest. In short, if your relationship is the kind you’d expect from a high school couple, chances are it won’t last very long.

There’s nothing he’s serious about. He approaches everything as if it were either a joke or nothing more than a chore. This includes not only his job but his social obligations as well. So if your man is only serious about his hobbies, you’re actually dealing with a boy. Even if he’s extremely dedicated to his hobbies, this is a sign he’s immature nevertheless.

He easily gets upset. When you think of children compared to adults, you think of poor impulse control. With time, most of us learn how to control our urges and selfish tendencies. But if you’re dealing with an immature man, you won’t be seeing any of that. Instead, you’ll be forced to bear witness to him lashing out, being impatient and not being able to suppress his negative emotions.

His relationships are based on competition. An immature man doesn’t have stable and healthy relationships with others. He probably has friends and acquaintances, but chances are he’s competing with them instead of getting to know them better. If you want to be sure he’s like this, pay attention to his social interactions. If he’s communicating with others only to show his own worth, you’re better off without him.

He avoids making any long-term plans. Immature people tend to ignore the need for making plans for the future. That’s because they only live in the present. If your boyfriend doesn’t want to talk to you about what you’ll be doing next month, let alone next year, chances are he’s simply not mature enough to take your relationship seriously.

 

What can you do to attract men who are mature?

Act like a mature person yourself. People who are evolved enough to be able to maintain a serious relationship ask of their partners to be at least equally mature. So if you want to stop attracting immature men and start dating for real, you’ll need to work on yourself as well. Maybe you’re already there, but in case you’re not, consider doing the following.

Work on your self-esteem. Feeling good about yourself is a huge part of being a mature person. After all, it’s only logical for you to act childishly if you’re plagued by your own insecurities. To work on this, try to be as objective as possible, and list your strengths and weaknesses. Change what needs to be changed, but make sure you let yourself feel good about everything you’re doing right.

Don’t be afraid to show your strengths. Knowing them is the first step, but you also need to be able to show them off when necessary. People won’t think you’re creative if you never show them that side of yourself. So let loose at least a bit and only good things will follow, including men who know a great woman when they see one.

Be prepared to make some moves yourself. Waiting for him to make the first move should be a thing of the past, at least for all of those who are no longer in high school. With maturity and confidence comes the ability to reject outdated norms. If you see a man you like, especially if he passes your maturity test, approach him and let him know you’re not afraid to make your own rules.

Consider finding new places to hang out with your friends. If how you spend your weekends hasn’t really changed since the time you were in high school or just starting college, you might want to make some changes. It’ll be a lot easier for you to find a mature man if you started going to events that appeal to evolved people in general, such as lectures, book signings, and art shows.

April Lee