Before You Cheat On Me, Know This

Before you stumble into her bed and cheat on me, know this. You will destroy our love. You will break my heart. And you will make me feel that I am the unlovable one. Not only will you ruin everything that we had together but you will make me think that I will never be able to love again after you. My spirit will be broken. My heart will be bleeding and I won’t be able to do anything to fix it. So think twice before you start kissing her. Think about me—the woman who would sell her soul to the Devil just to make you happy.

Think about how I will stare into space, asking myself what I did wrong to lose you. Think about how I will cry myself to sleep every night because I will miss your arms hugging me and making me feel safe and well.

Before you cheat on me, know this.

I will not smile anymore because I will not be in the mood for it. I will behave like I lost someone important from my life, like someone just died and that will be a half-truth because a part of me will be buried with you once you are gone.

I will know that maybe I am fun but not fun enough to make you stay. I will think that I am beautiful but not beautiful enough for you. I will think that I am worthy but not worthy enough for you. And then I will start to cry. Over and over again. I will cry to every song that we danced to. I will cry when I see someone who looks just like you. I will die in the moment of wanting to hug him and never let him go. And then life will slap me, telling me to wake up. I will realize that I lost you and that I am alone. And I will wonder how you could let me go when I was so easy to love. I will spend hours thinking about all the decisions I made when I was with you.

And half of them weren’t things that I wanted; I did things just to make you happy. I did things to make you feel loved. And you didn’t know to cherish that.

Before you cheat on me, know this.

When you ruin all that we had, I will blame myself. I will think that I am not good enough, worthy enough or beautiful enough for you. I will hate myself for falling for you so hard. Because when you are gone there will be nothing left except bad memories and a bitter taste in my mouth. You know, if you leave, alcohol will be my best friend and I won’t get enough of it.

Before you cheat on me, know this. Once you leave, I will stop feeling. I will be so shocked by the things you did to me and I will just put walls up around me so nobody can see me or hear me. I will need some time to get myself back on my feet again and get back to a normal life. And I know that it will be so damn hard to do it. But I will try because I love myself. I learned that while living with you. When you gave me only crumbs of your almost love, I learned to be the wall I can lean on when things get tough.

Before you cheat on me, know this.

I thought that we would last forever. I thought that you would be my safe harbor when things got bad. I thought you would be there to protect me and to make me feel safe. I believed that you would be my support in life and that you would never get enough of me.

Before you cheat on me, know this. Thank you for letting me down so many times because by doing so I learned to get back on my feet and to be stronger than before. Thank you for not loving me enough because you gave another man a chance to make me happy. And most of all, thank you for letting me go.

And if you think that you broke me, I will tell you that you are right. But you know what? Thank you for breaking me because by doing so, I will rise again like a phoenix from the ashes and I will again be good. But this time I won’t do that for you but for myself!