A Letter To The Man Who Wants Me Back: It’s Too Late Now

Dear ‘man who lost me’,

I’ll start this letter by asking you: why? I’m not the kind of person who likes to talk around things, but rather get to the point and I’m really trying to understand you, so I’m asking you again—why?

It’s been such a long time and now you’re back with a desperate attempt to make everything OK again, like nothing was ever wrong. You came up to me thinking that I would throw myself into your arms. But guess what? I got a lot smarter since the last time we met.

I was in pain and I suffered like no other. The way your absence made me feel couldn’t be described with words and all I can do now is thank you for doing all that you did to me. I went through pain stronger than anything I had ever experienced before and I survived.

Tell me, what happened to that girl? Yes, the girl you chose instead of me. Is she really that happy with you? I saw her the other day, crying in the arms of a friend and somehow I knew what was going on. The poor thing didn’t even see it coming. With your commitment issues, you don’t really stay anywhere for too long. You look at all the women around you like they are some kinds of temporary objects that can be exchanged at any given point. You don’t look at us to see humans, but rather toys to play with.

How pathetic can a man get these days? I’m really sorry, but I can’t let myself be near you anymore. Not because I might still have emotions for you, but because I don’t want to be reminded of how stupid I was to believe that you were capable of loving. I was so stupid because I thought your manipulative behavior was love and every time you’d come home smelling like a woman, I would convince myself that it was OK as long as you came home to me.

You’re not really aware of how hard it is to be a woman who loves. Because you forget about who you are, you forget about your values and your inspirations. You dedicate everything you have to the man you love, just because you think that love will be enough. But love is never enough.

I’m sorry that I thought I could change you. There was nothing out there that could impact on you to the point where you would realize that it’s not all right to hit a woman, that it’s not all right to deceive someone who thinks of you as the only love they will ever know. Because that’s what I thought every time I saw you. I thought about how much I loved and adored you. But that wasn’t enough.

So let me tell you, dear old friend—I’m done. I’m done with you and my emotions about this are not confused. I don’t want to know how you are or how you’re doing. I just want you to leave me alone so I can finally move on with my life and find the love that I deserve. You aren’t able to give me that kind of love. That’s the reason why I’m seriously begging you to never step foot in my life again, because I don’t want you there anymore. You lost your chance.

You lost your chance with the only woman who was ever truly there for you and the only woman who was really in love with you. I don’t know where our lives will lead us, but I hope mine leads me as far away from you as it can get, and as close to happiness as possible. I want myself to be finally happy and if that means avoiding you for the rest of my life, then so be it.