5 Reasons For Losing My “Friends”

I always carefully chose words trying not to hurt anyone or to understand something wrong in every period of my life. I was afraid how somebody would react if I was quite honest with them.

That’s why I always used some tiny lies to make them feel better. I didn’t like some things about them, but I have found a way not to tell them that directly. Later I was angry at myself for being two-faced.

I did nothing wrong, but I felt very bad.

I would come home and talk about this person to myself,  instead of telling her face to face that she hurt me or that I don’t like something about her.

I was surrounded with a lot of friends, build a career, but in essence, I was really unhappy.

When I finally realized what caused my dissatisfaction, I decided to change some things in my behavior.

I started to talk about how I feel, criticize them for their bad behavior or tell them that it’s not good for me.

I was like I really am: honest.

However, things have completely turned around.

They were not happy about it. I don’t even know where I got the idea that this will fix things.

They told me that I had changed, that I was selfish, and some even claimed I was jealous.

I’m just jealous because I don’t have the same opinion as you have?

I’m jealous because I did not lower my head when you hurt me?

I was trying to spend more time working on what I like, to be more successful, I was with my friends when it was the hardest, so I expected some of them to be by my side.

That did not happen.

I started analyzing all the things I’ve done in the last years of my life and I have realized that I don’t have to be ashamed of anything.

But I also realized that PEOPLE DON’T LIKE TO HEAR THE TRUTH. THEY ONLY WANNA  HEAR WHAT THEY LIKE.

As I was more successful, as everyone around saw my success, my friends started to talk against me. In some cases, there was even a degree of hatred involved.

But I don’t want to use that word HATRED, so we will say that there are reasons why these women don’t like me anymore.

5 LARGEST REASONS, (and there are many more), why my friends didn’t like me anymore:

1. I HAVE STARTED TO TALK ABOUT MYSELF

You must have been in a situation when you constantly listened to other people. You were in a restaurant for five hours and you have only listened to them talking about themselves.

I was a silent observer. I listened to them when they were happy and when they were sad, and then I started talking more about myself. I didn’t just want to listen, but I wanted to be listened to as well.

Of course, this was defined as me being selfish and thinking only of myself.

2. I WAITED FOR THEM TO CALL ME

Yes, I am the fool who always called them, organized birthday celebrations, tried to get what they wanted, gathered them and made plans. And then I would leave the phone and wait for them to call back and invite me out.

I waited for that call for weeks, but it always began with the same sentence: “Did you forget about me?”

3. I HAVE FOUND NEW FRIENDS

If I have learned something through all of this, it’s the fact that people think that you need to be here just for them. You need to nurture only that friendship.

I met new people at work and went out with them, and this made my old friends feel bad.

Interesting, but these new people told me to call them.

But I didn’t do it. For the first time in life: I DIDN’T!

4. I HAVE LEARNED TO LOVE MY FLAWS

I always hid my flaws, I have even found them where they don’t exist. Later I realized that many women around me forgot all my good sides, but they always remembered the bad ones.

I was late for dinner once, and I was constantly reminded of it. Although I was late because of some jam at work, in their eyes I was disorganized.

5. I stopped asking questions

I would always start a conversation with the question ‘How are you’, not noticing that nobody ever asked me how I actually was.

If they had a problem, I would ask and offer a solution.

Nobody ever spoke about my problems, they just weren’t so important. If I didn’t mention them, it wasn’t good either. They told me that I want to represent my life as ideal.

That’s why I asked them less and less, I wanted to see how much they care about me.

All this didn’t make a bad person, don’t worry. Time always shows the truth.

My life was soon full of new real people who entered it.

I’m not a victim and you’re probably wondering why I allowed it to myself.

Someone even thinks that I am an egocentric person who thinks she is successful and that everyone is jealous of her.

I’d love to go back to the beginning of the story.

My problem was me. Unsafe and neglected, and that isn’t something that brave women do.

No, they listen to others, but they want their voice to be heard too.

They don’t always say everything, but they say enough.