From Your Rebound Girl: I Should Have Known Better

Was I that naive to believe what we had was real? I couldn’t see right through your smile and your charm. I wasn’t able to believe that your intentions weren’t the same as mine. Aren’t you sorry? Not even a little bit?

When me wet that hot summer day, I didn’t like you at first. I think I even told you that. You were loud and noisy. Somehow you seemed like one of those people who always get what they want. Nothing told me that I’d be hurting so much right now. That night we spent on the beach because some of our mutual friends introduced us. They started to joke around about your ex girlfriend and how she left you, so I really did feel pity for you. Not to insult you, but I knew how hard it is to be left by the person who means the world to you.

At that time, I hadn’t been in a relationship for almost a year because I decided to spend some time single, just to rediscover myself. And then you came into my life. As I told you, I wasn’t your fan at first, but you called me to have a drink with you and I didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to hear all about your breakup. Somehow, I have a weak spot for that. I always think that I can help people somehow, because I know how it feels to be alone after a breakup.

At the bar, I saw the way you were talking about her—the way your eyes would shine when you mentioned her name and the way a smile would creep up on your face in between the sentences. I thought it was cute and wondered if you could ever talk like that about someone else. I was impressed with the amount of love you felt.

After a while of constantly answering my questions, you asked me about my life. Who I was, what did I love to do and so on. You seemed very interested and you made me feel special. With a little bit of attention, a man can get a woman’s heart. I’m the real life proof for that.

With a little bit of attention, a man can get a woman’s heart.

Of course, I thought about her a lot. She was like this perfection I couldn’t reach. It was a challenge to reach the stage of love you felt for her. I felt intimidated and insecure. But I never told you that, right? Not until now.

Secretly, I hated her. She’d appear on the street and you would just shut up and look at the ground. Like you had no self-esteem left. I really did admire her. I admired her a lot. I wanted to be her or at least be as important to you as she was. How pathetic can I get?

When she started to text you, I saw the spark in your eyes return—the same spark I saw when you talked about her on our first date. You started to feel alive again and it was obvious something was going on between you two. I was afraid to ask you about her, but even on the rare moments when I did, you’d tell me that there was nothing going on—hat you were over her and you’d reassure me that you were mine.

You were never mine to begin with. I should have known better. You never wanted anyone else but her, but you thought if you spent some time with me, you’d finally get over the breakup. How stupid it was of me to think that I could ever replace her. For the first time in my life, I felt lonely even though someone was sitting right next to me.

The moment you told me that she asked you to get back together, I knew that it was over for us. You were just in love with another woman and that’s what broke me the most. But at least I’m thankful that you were honest with me. You could’ve easily cheated on me or left me without an explanation. You sat down and talked with me. I appreciate that.

But I do blame myself. I hate the mistake I made of hoping you could love me like that. I’m just sorry that I couldn’t have been good enough for you. And I hope you’re doing fine. As for me? I should have known better.