Happy relationships don’t happen on their own. Maintaining a successful romantic relationship is one of the hardest things to accomplish. It requires a lot of patience, energy and effort but it is definitely something worth everything invested in it. It is quite important to pay attention to the things we do in a relationship but sometimes the things that shouldn’t be done are even more crucial to the success of your relationship. Therefore, here are 5 things you should avoid doing in a relationship if you want to have a happy one.
1. Being too needy
One of the most common mistakes most of us make when we fall madly in love is that we give too much of ourself to that relationship. And obviously we want the same emotional investment in return. Although that can be a good thing, it is important to be careful not to become too needy in a relationship because that will only push the other person away. No matter how serious your relationship is and how much you and your partner love each other, remember to give him some space. He is an individual person who had a life before you and you can’t expect him to give all his time and energy only to you. If you act too clingy, your partner will start to perceive you as insecure and that is one of the biggest attraction killers there is.
2. Being too selfish
If you want to have a happy relationship, the first thing you need to forget about is your selfishness. You have to realize that you and your boyfriend are a team now and not everything can revolve around you. The art of compromise is the basis of every successful relationship, so you need to be ready to meet your partner halfway. This doesn’t mean you should completely disregard your needs, it only means that you can’t be selfish and that there will be times when you’ll need to put your partner’s needs before your own.
3. Demeaning the other person
If you want your relationship to be successful and healthy, you need to look at it as a partnership. That means that you and your boyfriend are equals when it comes to all aspects of your relationship. There shouldn’t exist a situation in which you can feel like you are above your partner. So if you want to have a happy relationship, demeaning the other person is one of the first things you should avoid doing. That means that you always need to treat your partner with respect, even when you two are arguing or when your opinions differ. It is never acceptable for you to degrade or insult your partner. Remember that not all demeaning is direct—sometimes subtle insults or sarcastic comments and facial expressions can also insult your partner, making him feel bad about himself.
4. Mentioning your previous relationships
When you are in a relationship, the past will come up in conversation sooner or later and it is normal for your current boyfriend to know about the existence of your former romantic partners. But that is all he has to know. Even if your boyfriend insists on knowing details from your romantic past, sometimes it is better to keep him happily oblivious. I am not saying you should lie to him about some important things, but sometimes it is wiser to keep some things to yourself. If you are the one who keeps mentioning your previous relationships, it may sound like you are not over someone from your past and that is something you should definitely avoid in your relationship. This is especially the case if you compare your current boyfriend with your exes. If you do this, not only will he doubt your feelings for him, but you will also ruin his self-esteem.
- 5. Trying to change your partner
One of the biggest mistakes a person makes in a relationship is that they don’t accept the other person for who they really are. Remember that your boyfriend is an adult and you need to stop hoping that you can change some of his essential personality traits if you hope to have a happy relationship. It is perfectly normal that there are some of his characteristics and behavior patterns that you don’t enjoy, but you need to accept these things as a part of his personality. Therefore, if you want to avoid making one or both of you miserable, avoid trying to change your partner and accept him for who he is, with all of his flaws. If you don’t think that you can do it, a better option is walking away.
