5 Mind Games Toxic Men Play In Relationships

You might not even be aware of this. You might think that it is all your fault. When, actually, he is playing dangerous games with your mind. He is the one who has his fingers entangled in your insecurity. He is responsible for you feeling the way you do.

Think about it: you weren’t this person before. You used to smile. You used to enjoy things in life. But, now all that is gone, and he is the one who took it away.

He played games with your mind to gain control over you and to turn you into his obedient puppet. He wanted to be in charge of your relationship by cutting you off of all decisions and taking away your right to say something or have any kind of input in general.

You have to put a stop to it! Stop this madness happening around you. Life is too short to spend it with a manipulative asshole who doesn’t give a damn about your feelings. He is probably emotionally damaged and insecure, so he is looking for control in your relationship. That’s why he is being a manipulative jerk because deep down, he is insecure.

But, that is not an excuse for such behavior. The fact he is insecure cannot possibly justify his behavior and the fact that he has turned you into an insecure and frustrated woman, who is being brainwashed on a daily basis. That doesn’t justify how he destroyed your self-worth and your self-respect. He did all that just so he could feel better. I’m sorry, but that is not love—that is psychopathic behavior.

If you suspect that your mind has been tampered with, read these mind games to see if your guy is doing this to you and if he is, just run for the hills and don’t look back.

1. The blame game
He blames you for everything that goes wrong. Blame is a toxic behavior which gives him an ego boost because he gets the attention off of himself, so he feels better and you feel like crap. He doesn’t want to own up to his mistakes, so he is forcing you to take the blame instead of him. And the saddest part is that this gets to you. After some time, you stop fighting it because there is nothing you can do. Somehow, you are always the one to blame. So, you stop fighting and after some time you start believing in it. He planted that seed in your head and he has nourished it until it has grown and forced you to believe it’s true.

2. The Gaslighting Game
Gaslighting is a psychological term defined as: “A form of emotional abuse where the abuser manipulates situations repeatedly to trick the victim into distrusting his or her own memory and perceptions… [The term is derived] from the British play-turned-movie, ‘Gas Light’ in which a husband attempts to drive his wife crazy using a variety of tricks causing her to question her own perceptions and sanity.”

You see, it’s not your fault. It never was. He was making you believe in things which are not real in order to fuck up your self-confidence and respect. His plan was to shake your trust in yourself, so you could put it into him completely. Then, he could do whatever he wanted with you.

3. The guilt game
He will somehow make it all about him. When he needs something from you, something that is not so reasonable, he will guilt trip you into giving it to him. He will blackmail you with his emotions, just so you fold and give him what he wants. Sadly, you still have feelings for him and at some point you feel sorry for him, so you give in. He doesn’t have a problem with lowering himself to the lowest possible position only to get what he wants. He’s got no morals whatsoever. That’s why he can do this. That’s why he has the power to destroy you.

See also: An Open Letter To The Man Who Destroyed Me

4. The ‘Bait and Switch Game’
When you fight and scream at each other, he knows how to turn things around all of a sudden. So, let’s say you’ve been talking about something particular, you’ve been arguing about it, and after ten minutes of yelling, you find yourself defending while he puts all the blame on you. And not just that, you are no longer fighting about the same thing. Now, you’re fighting about something that you screwed up a year ago and he never let it go. Moreover, he was keeping your screw up in back up specifically for a time like this: a time when he screws up something, so he can turn things around by throwing your ancient mistake in your face.

5. The roller coaster game
This is a classic move of every toxic man in a relationship. They all change their behavior in a matter of minutes without any warning, without any reason. That’s what he does to you. One day he is the best boyfriend you ever had and the next day he is a serious jackass. So this makes you wonder: Is the source of the problem you? Have you done something that upset him? The answer is very simple. You did nothing wrong. He is just trying to manipulate you for the next thing he wants from you. Ignore it and leave him as soon as you can.