10 Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Leave Him

After a certain amount of time, we start questioning our relationships and we think about the scary scenario of breaking up. We simply don’t feel loved and happy in the relationship, but we are continuing to question ourselves and this decision because it’s not easy to break up something that has been so precious and dear to us. We might regret it and lose the person we’re still in love with. So, to avoid this situation I recommend that you ask yourself these following questions before you chose to break up and leave your partner.

1. What attracted me to my partner?
Think back to your first date where you thought that he was your everything. You saw your soulmate in him, but something has changed, right? If you were both so lovable and caring at the beginning, you might’ve just grown out of it. You changed throughout a certain time period where you’re no longer compatible for each other. So, is he now the person you were drawn to at the beginning of the relationship? Is he still the guy you wanted to be with then?

2. Do we have the same goals?
Of course, you might both go for a different career path, but in conclusion – do your goals and priorities align? Do you both want to pursue a career in the same country? Do you both want to get married and have kids? Do you both want to live in the same house? These are all such good questions that might tell you if you two have a future together. But, you might also find out that there is nothing you can do to change his opinions.

3. Am I tolerating him?
It’s OK to fight sometimes and to have different opinions on certain topics, but sometimes, there are some deal breakers involved. What are those deal breakers for you that you have been tolerating this entire time? He never gave you enough affection? He would never make time for you? If you’re tolerating his behaviour because you’re thinking that he might change, then please stop. Some things can’t be changed.

4. Do I feel loved, appreciated and respected?
This is an obvious one, but if you don’t feel loved and your needs aren’t respected and appreciated in a relationship, then why didn’t you already break up? You are sitting around waiting for him to fall in love with you again, but all he does is ignore your texts, doesn’t answer the phone and he’s very rude to you when you’re in public. Don’t settle for this kind of BS—you deserve so much more.

5. Do we have problems with communication?
Thoughts of breaking up and leaving are tiring because you can’t stop thinking about it and it takes up too much of your energy. But the right communication and problem-solving skills can actually help you with this. Because it’s a burden if you carry it on your own. It’s better if you talk with him about this, tell him that you’re scared that you might lose him because of his behaviour. If he doesn’t make an effort, then move on. If you’re too scared to talk with him about this, that is not a good sign because you should talk with him about everything that bothers you. So, do you have problems with communication?

6. Do I need to work on myself?
Even if the relationship is doing great and your partner is a sweetheart, you simply can feel the need to spend some time solo to work on yourself. There are some things in life that actually can’t be done in a pair but rather with ourselves, all alone. So ask yourself if you’ve been wanting to work on yourself for quite some time, but did your relationship hold you back from it?

7. Am I happy?
This one is so important. Are you happy? Are you happy in your relationship most of the time or are you simply miserable for a lot of reasons? If you’ve been dating for a while, perhaps for the past couple of months, and no matter what you two do it simply doesn’t have the spark of joy, then it’s too late to save it. Leave.

8. Did I sacrifice more than I gained?
Again, girls, we tend to give ourselves away too much when we’re in a relationship. Our partner simply can’t see our effort, but we’re convinced that he’ll change and that it’ll be fine again. But if we keep investing in something without any results, then it’s all lost from the very beginning.

9. Do I love him or the person I want him to be?
Look at him now, at this moment in particular. Do you love him? Do you love his clumsy self? With his weird-colored eyes and the way he talks to you? Do you love him or the idea of the person he might become? Chances are that people won’t change the person they are. So don’t even bother. But if you love him for who he is, then you might want to give it all a second thought.

10. Does he add value to my life?
Does he really enhance my life? Does he make it better by adding color and joy into it? Or would I be better off without him? The answers to all these questions are in your heart. So listen carefully.