8 Phrases You Should Never Use If You Want A Relationship To Last

Open communication is something that every relationship should be based upon. We should be able to communicate freely to our partner without holding anything back. Yet more often than not, we wish that we could take back some words.

Usually, those words are spoken when we are angry and we can’t prevent them from coming out of our mouth. And the thing with those words is that they can hurt your partner more than any actual physical wound. While physical wounds heal after a certain time has passed. wounds inflicted by words can never heal entirely.

For that reason, we should be careful with what we say even when we feel exasperated. Even if they were unintentionally uttered, those words can cost you happiness in your relationship or even risk that relationship entirely.

So even at your angriest, avoid using these phrases:

1. Shut up.
Sometimes while arguing you just want the other person to stop talking or stop shouting so that you can say something too. But saying shut up is very aggressive and it shouldn’t be used so loosely. It’s better to use, “Can you please be quiet,” or, “Can I say something now, please?” is a better alternative. It’s not always about what you say but how you say it.

2. You are an idiot.
Aiming at your partner’s intelligence while fighting is just a trigger that causes deeper and more profound problems. It will show that you don’t value your partner. Criticizing and looking down on your partner can be destructive for your relationship. It might start off with tension at first and make it harder and harder to reconnect afterwards.

3. You have to.
“You have to,” sentences are reserved for children and pets and should be banned completely from adult conversation. You are not your partner’s boss or guardian so you don’t have any need to show your authority. Always find words that treat your partner with the respect they deserve. Relationships are about equality.

4. My ex would never…
Bringing up your ex is never a good idea. Comparing your ex to your current partner is even worse. Even if you didn’t think anything of it, bringing out the ghost of an ex’s past can make your partner think that you still have feelings for or some unresolved issues with your ex.

5. Your mother is so… or your friend is so…
Regardless of whether it’s their mother, father, family member or a friend, you should never criticize them. Just by being important people in your partner’s life, they deserve respect, even in those moments where your anger speaks instead of you. You would never allow someone to talk trash about the important people in your life now, would you?

6. You shouldn’t feel that way.
People feel what they feel. Feelings can’t be influenced and by telling somebody not to feel a certain way you are not helping. You always have to have an understanding of other people’s feelings. Don’t disregard them just because you might not understand them.

7. If you don’t like it, find someone else.
Or, “If you don’t like it, just leave.” The ‘if you don’t like it’ phrase suggests that you will only do things your way or no way and leaves no room for compromise. The other phrase suggests that you are ready to end it. Ending a relationship shouldn’t be mentioned unless you really mean it. It’s not something that you can take back, so make sure you are 100% certain of what you are saying there. You might be breaking somebody else’s heart with words like that.

8. I don’t care.
Being in a loving relationship means caring always, no matter the situation. So if you say that you don’t care, it might have a different meaning in your partner’s head than it has in yours. While you might say it thinking that you don’t care about the certain issue that you are discussing, your partner could interpret it like you don’t care about them or the things that are important to them.