I Gave You More Chances Than You Deserved, It’s Time For Me To Walk Away

I always thought people have the ability to change. I always thought there was something good in each one of us, even if it’s buried deep down in some.

But you’ve tried very hard to prove me wrong. And now I know I’ve been mistaken for all of this time. People can’t change. Now I know that some people are not meant to be loved and that some people will never change, no matter how much you believe in them and no matter how many chances you give to them.

Sadly for both of us, you are one of those people.

You were someone who never stood behind his words. Throughout our entire relationship, you kept telling me how much you loved me and how much I meant to you. But when I come to think about it, you never showed me that love—except when I was walking away from you.

I’ve come to the conclusion that there have always existed two men inside of you. There was this one guy who was cruel and selfish. This guy never cared for me and for my feelings, he never took care of me and he never bothered to think if his actions were hurting me. No, he only thought of his own needs and he only used me. This guy never appreciated all the things I was doing for him and he never treated me right. This guy was never ready to put the slightest effort into his relationship with me. Instead, he lied to me to my face, he cheated on me without ever thinking how it would make me feel and he emotionally abused me. And sadly, you were this guy for most of the time. You were him whenever you knew you had me, whenever you were certain of me.

And then there was this other guy who you would become every time I would walk away from you. When that happened, you would change overnight. Or at least, you acted like you had. All of a sudden, you were the most caring and loving guy in the world. You would be telling me how you understood all your faults, that you were ready to change your ways and that losing me was the last thing you wanted. You would tell me how you loved me and that you couldn’t imagine your life without me in it. This guy was ready to do whatever it took just to keep me by his side. All of a sudden, you’d become romantic, you didn’t have any trouble matching my efforts and you were the man I always wanted for you to be.

But none of it ever lasted long. Silly me would always fall for your lies and I would always give you another chance. And then the moment you saw you had me back, you would go back to your old ways, as if nothing had happened. During these dark periods of yours, I was holding on to the man you were when you were scared you’d lose me. And I loved that man more than anything. I wanted for you to always be like that but I knew that it was impossible.

I knew it was impossible for you to ever change for real. You didn’t act better when you were scared of losing me because you loved me, no matter how hard I wanted for it to be true. You were doing it because you didn’t want to lose the only person who loved you no matter what and the only person who stood by your side.

Well, I am here to tell you that this has come to an end. You don’t deserve any more chances with me. I am done giving you more chances because I know every time will be the same. And this is something I am finally learning to accept.

I am not doing this because I want you to chase me or because I want you to understand what you are losing. I am doing it because I know you’ll never change and that I’ll be stuck in this never-ending circle of ours forever. I am doing it because I want to give myself a chance to be happy for a change.