9 Signs He Likes You (But He Is Afraid Of Rejection)

Men are not so subtle when it comes to them being attracted to you. Which is, let’s be honest, a good thing. But even when we have all the signs, when all of our girlfriends have said it, he is still stuck in one place and his making a move is as impossible as going into space. So, we end up wondering if maybe it’s us, if maybe he’s not attracted to us after all. We are wondering could it be that we have misread the signs. But, trust me ladies, it’s not us. Looking for signs that he likes you is as easy as looking for a Hulk in the club. Men are so obvious to everyone except the woman that’s attracted to them. Yes, love has a way of making us blind.

But what about men that are not so obvious? What about men that treat you in a special kind of way, but not so special? Men that make you feel like a goddess with compliments and call you ‘buddy’ the next minute. Then, it’s time to look for signs that he likes you, but he is just afraid of rejection. Because, you see, every man has three main fears: the fears of irrelevance, disappointment and rejection.

Men are terrified of letting women down, especially ones they truly care about. He will seem like the toughest of them all, but deep down, he will go crazy trying to figure out why you’re suddenly sad. Another fear that breaks them is feeling irrelevant. Men hate feeling like a piece of furniture or a walking paycheck in a relationship, so naturally, if they’re treated that way, they will treat you back the same. Or he will simply walk away, looking for relevance somewhere else. And lastly, fear of rejection. You can say it’s both of the fears before combined. He is afraid that his charm and work will go unrecognized, that he will let you down in some kind of way. And this is also a reason why men just adore women who initiate dates and things in relationships. There is no facing rejection and it there is hardly a man who will reject you, unless he is taken.

It’s completely natural that he is taking some time to see if you are feeling the same as he does, to see whether you really want to go out before he pops the question. Because, no matter how thick-skinned you believe they are, they’re not. Every rejection hurts, regardless of the level of commitment or drunkenness. It stings and burns your confidence like acid. So, to ease your worries, we gathered signs that he actually likes you, even if he still hasn’t made a move.

1. Body language

Man covering woman with his sweatshirt

This is something he can’t really control. His words could be distant and cold, but his body will tell you a whole different story. You will catch him more than once looking at you with that look—you know which one. As soon as you catch him, he will look away or he will keep on staring because men are visual creatures. When they like something, they look at it. A lot. So, this one is actually a good sign that he likes you.

Another cue to look for is the way he behaves around you. If he seems nervous and keeps on fixing his appearance (hair, tie, shirt etc.), that’s because he wants to look his best for you and he wants to charm you off of your feet. And fear of disappointment is making him nervous, so he could be fidgeting with his fingers a lot. It will even seem like he forgot how to use them. His body will always be angled towards you and he will lean in closer to you. He will also find any excuse to touch you. Whether it’s a strand of hair that got lost on your face or to touch your back while you’re sitting down. To him, you’re like the strongest magnet he simply can’t resist. And to be honest, he’s not even trying.

He will also smile a lot. The moment you enter the room, a stupid grin will be stuck on his face from ear to ear. When we’re spending time with someone we are interested in, we are happy. Nervous and nauseous maybe, but still happy. It’s the same with him spending time with you. His face will light up when he sees you and his eyes will smile. That’s a genuine reaction to you which he cannot fake. While fake smiles will stop at the mouth, his will light up the entire room, not only his face.

See also: 5 Body Language Signs That Tell He’s Into You

2. He preens and talks himself up
Man and woman talking

He will smell his best, fix his hair and dress better than usual. This one is easy to catch on to if you’ve seen him with his friends. If he is not trying so hard with them but you can see he tried hard for you, that’s the only sign you really need. He will fix his appearance while you’re around all the time. Fix his tie, his jacket or pop a breath mint in his mouth. He wants to be the best version of himself, so he can show you that he’s actually worth it.

While we’re at the best version of him, he will talk himself up. He will keep on talking about how he is successful at his job but not in a douche, asshole, arrogant kind of a way. He will give you enough info for you to know what it is about, but not too much to smother you—often called, ‘humble bragging’.

On the other hand, if he’s talking about himself and nothing but himself in that ‘I’m-the-best-one-out-there’ kind of tone, it’s time for you to back away. He is nothing but a narcissist and that’s not someone you really want to have in your life.

3. He welcomes any touches
Man and woman smiling

While he’s trying to find a way to touch you, how does he react when you touch him? Does he flinch or move away when you touch him? Or he’s relaxed and actually enjoys when you do it? This is a big sign that he likes you because he would move away if he didn’t. Pay attention to the subtle moves he makes. If your legs are touching and he doesn’t move his away, he’s more than okay with touching you. Or if your high five or handshake lasts longer than the usual ones do, maybe it’s time for something little bit more intimate than that?

BUT. With this one, you need to look at the bigger picture. If he’s moving away but you know that he is shy, that doesn’t have to be a sign he doesn’t like you. It could simply be saying that he’s just too shy to make a move. Or if you know that he is a player, he could be welcoming touches from any woman out there. Always look at the bigger picture instead of the tiny pieces. Look at the way the two of you move together and the chemistry between the two of you.

4. His phone is nonexistent while he’s with you
Man and woman at a viewpoint

This one is really important and goes both ways. My friends always say that they can notice when I’m in love just by looking at where is my phone when I’m with the guy. Because of the rhythm and the way we are living our lives today, our phones are a necessary evil. They are everything we need and essential to our existence. Sadly, but they are.

If you notice that he didn’t even get his phone out of his pocket while sitting with you, there are no worries that you will waste your time with him. His focus is entirely on you; it seems like there is no one but you. Like the whole world disappeared to him and you’re the only thing that’s left. And even if he gets phone calls or texts, he handles them quickly and apologizes multiple times. To him, you are more interesting than thousands of phones and that’s something worth fighting for. Honestly, as someone who is addicted to the phone—and I rarely drop it out of my arms—if a man is amazing enough to make me leave my phone, that’s the kind of a man I’m willing to do anything for. And it’s the same for men too.

5. He teases you
Man and woman sitting in trunk of car

This is a great way for him to check the ground, to see if you’re up for something a little bit more than just goofing around or hanging out as friends. He will playfully tease you or slightly push you, just to keep the atmosphere light and easy-going. Plus, it’s a great way to make an excuse for touching you. Men don’t ever really grow up. From pulling your ponytail to teasing you about the stain on your shirt, it’s all about game and finding a way to your heart through smiles and laughter.

And another way of teasing is that he will joke about liking you. This is a great way for men who are afraid of rejection to cope with their feelings and see where they stand with you. A lot of men who are shy or afraid of rejection will joke about being together with the exact person they want to be with. You will never hear him joking about that with other women, trust me. This way, even if rejection does happen, he can say it was all fun and games, no feelings. If you find this sign alongside with others on the list, there is no need to look any further.

6. He wants to get to know you

Man looking at woman smiling

And I mean, really get to know you. He is not interested in stuff you tell everyone when you are chit-chatting. He is interested in dreams you’re dreaming and passions you’re following. And he will truly enjoy listening to you while you’re talking. He will remember all the little things you mentioned once before and ask you about them. And even if you feel uncomfortable talking about yourself all the time, with him it won’t be the case.

You are the one person he wants to spend all of his free time with and you don’t have to look for any signs to prove this one. If he’s texting you and calls you to go out all the time, not because he wants something from you but because he just wants to spend some time with you, he is interested in you. If you know that he’s not going out of his way for anyone else and that he’s even cancelling some of the plans he already made just so he could be with you, it not because he is a great friend. It’s because he really likes you and wants to move things to the next level, but he is just too shy to make a move.

7. He gives you unique compliments
Couple sitting at a viewpoint

I don’t mean those ‘You’re pretty/hot/smoking’ kind of compliments but rather the compliments where he actually looks at you and sees you. He noticed how your eyes change the color in the sunlight and how they’re gloomy when it’s raining. He noticed how your face lights up when you see Marvel-themed anything and he’s even sending you Marvel memes to bring a smile to your face. He noticed how witty you are and he admires your hard working and your brilliant mind. He’s not spending time with you just because you’re good-looking. He’s doing it because he enjoys talking with you and listening to you, not just looking at you.

And you know that when he gives you a compliment, that’s not something he usually does. You can actually feel it in your gut. He will either start blushing right away or change the subject as fast as he can. He’s not comfortable with being vulnerable around you and that’s exactly the time when he is open to you. He noticed something not everyone sees and he knows it, but he got carried away in the moment and it slipped. So, he will try to step away from it as soon as possible and that’s a sign he has feelings stronger than just as ‘a friend’.

8. He is very protective
Man holding woman while lying on his lap

He makes sure that you got home safe and sound and checks on you how you’re doing after a crazy night out. And even if you were working the night shift, he stayed up late, keeping you company over the phone, making sure that you are okay. When you’re walking, he makes sure that you’re walking on the safer side of the sidewalk and no matter what happens, he is always there. The moment you call him, he picks up his phone. The moment you tell him that you’re upset, he is already looking for a solution to the problem and trying to figure things out so you get better soon.

He goes out of his way to make sure you are doing okay, to make sure that you’re safe and protected. And it’s highly possible that he is protecting you even though he’s not making a move. This is because he’s not sure about your feelings and he’s worried that you’ll cut him out of your life when he makes a move. Or, he thinks that he’s not worthy of you. He is happy with just being around you and doing whatever it takes to keep you protected. So, he keeps his feelings under the radar and makes you happy as a friend. If there are feelings on your side, make sure he knows.

9. You’re the only one he wants to spend time with
Man holding woman in his arms

Even if his schedule is tight, he still finds time for you. Whether he and you are going out with the rest of your friends or alone, it seems like you’re the only one there. His entire focus is on you and you are all he cares about at the moment. If there is someone else with you, he will sit next to you and continue teasing you with inside jokes, making it appear like you are an item. But the moment someone mentions it, he will laugh it away or make jokes about it. He will use the opportunity to check your reaction and act according to it, while still avoiding the chance of being rejected. And the moment you call him, he will clear out his schedule just for you, even if it means that he will stay up the rest of the night, finishing the work he has left to do.

He could be afraid of getting his heart broken once more, if he had a nasty break up in the past. Or he’s simply afraid of rejection if he never had any luck in love. The important thing is that you let him know where he stands. If you want him just as a friend, it’s up to you to decide if you want to keep him around or cut him loose so he can get over it. But, if you want something more, go for it girl!