6 Signs He’s Emotionally Insecure (Don’t Even Bother To Date Him)

Most people can handle insecurity. They hide it or deal with it in any way they can. But, sadly, some men just can’t break free from their insecurity. Something happened to them in the past that caused them to be the way they are and that is one of the biggest reasons why their relationships don’t work out.

When you meet them for the first time, they are disguised and quiet. It’s the way they protect themselves. Now the problem is that women love a bit of mystery and if the guy is not laying all of his cards on the table at the beginning, if they are keeping things to themselves, women find them even more interesting than before.

Let’s face it—we are all dying to scratch underneath the surface to see what their deal is. What is it that happened to him that made him that way? There’s where we make our biggest mistake.

It’s not clever to tamper with this kind of man because they have a lot of unresolved issues, a lot of emotional baggage that they carry around. If you are not ready to deal with his shit, leave him alone, or if he’s chasing you, run away. It’s not a good idea to hook up with insecure men because in the end, you’re going to end up alone and broken and he will stay exactly the same.

If you start dating him, you can be sure that he’s going to ask too much of you. He will constantly ask for assurance and this will suck the life out of you. So, to save yourself all the trouble and the pain, check out the signs that he’s emotionally insecure and dodge that bullet while you can:

1. He’ll drop the ‘L’ word way too soon
He tells you he loves you right away. This will probably flatter you and you will be bursting with happiness, but after you think about it, you’ll find that something is wrong with that picture. How is it possible that he already loves you and you’ve only gone out on your second date? Don’t get me wrong—love at first sight probably exists, but even if it does, you wouldn’t be telling your date that you love him right away.

So, you can’t help but wonder, what is wrong with him? To love someone, you have to get to know them. The first appearance doesn’t always give the complete picture of what someone is like as a person. You can only see things that person wants you to see and if he’s lying to you, and insecure men are, you’ll be greatly disappointed in the end.

2. He is jealous
He is jealous of your friends, your family, basically of anyone who has any kind of contact with you. Why is that? It’s simple—he feels threatened because he is insecure. He thinks that you are going to dump him and leave him for someone else, possibly a close friend of yours. He will tell you not to go out shopping with your friends and ask you not to hang out with guys in general. And when you are out without him, he will call you and text you to check up on you and who you’re with under the excuse he misses you or is bored and wants to know when you’re coming back.

At the beginning, this kind of behavior will make you feel special and loved, but as time goes by, you will be sick of not having your freedom. You will be sick of him checking your every move. You will feel as if he is suffocating you.

Portrait of a young man

3. He talks about your ex
He just can’t face the fact that you have dated someone else before him. He will constantly talk about your ex, especially in the moments when his insecurity kicks in. Although you are trying to convince him that you and your ex are ancient history and you probably lost contact, he won’t stop. He is so insecure about himself and he thinks that you will leave him and go back to your ex.

4. He doesn’t trust you
He has been probably hurt in the past or he didn’t get enough attention from his ex-girlfriend or maybe even as a child. Whatever it was that happened to him made him insecure today. That is the reason he doesn’t trust you. Even if you show him you love him and want to be with him, he will doubt you because some girl cheated on him and broke his heart before you came along.

This is a huge problem because all serious relationships are built on mutual trust and if he doesn’t trust you, you’re never going to be happy.

5. He plays mind games
Playing mind games is one of the tools he uses to cover up his insecurities. He will try to keep you under control as much as he can. He will play you into doing things he wants you to do, only so he can be sure you are going to stay with him, that you are not going to hurt him.

He probably thinks that you are better than him, so he will use these tricks to make you think you are the lucky one to have him. This all happens due to his insecurity, but it is very dangerous because it can destroy your life if you don’t figure out what’s at stake right from the start.

6. His world revolves around you
At first, this is very flattering and interesting. You have a man by your side and you are the leading actress in his movie. Everything is about you. He wants to please you and make you feel perfect. Doesn’t it sound great? Well, it does, but what happens when you want some personal space, sometimes just for yourself, and he is still there next to you watching you like a hawk?

When you do things he doesn’t want you to do, he gets upset because he can’t control you, or he is too possessive and he thinks that no one has the right to ‘share’ you with him. He thinks of you as his property and as long as you are by his side, everything is perfect. But, when you decide to do something on your own, you have a problem.

Be very careful of insecure men because they can be very dangerous. Some of them are just insecure and they need a little push. They need your approval to get their self-esteem back. But, there are men whose insecurity turns them into dangerous people. It consumes them and then, if you let them, they consume you.