13 Signs You Are In A Possessive Relationship
Possessive relationships vary with the severity of the possessiveness. While sometimes it can be mild jealousy, it can get up to a level where it becomes toxic. Nevertheless, no possessive relationship is healthy. Every possessive relationship starts off like a fairy tale, where you have met someone who cares deeply about you so you’re not ready to look for signs that something is wrong, because it just feels good to be wanted.
But if you feel like you’re trapped in a relationship or the feeling of being stalked simply creeps up on you, maybe it’s time to look for the signs that your partner is the possessive type.
1. He’s controlling
He has the need to control you wherever you go, as well as when and with whom. If he’s not involved in the decision making, he’s text-bombing you until he is. He has ways of manipulating you into following his requests, which ultimately leads to cutting you off from your friends and family, until he’s the only one you have. Sharing is caring, but not to him when it comes to you.
2. He demands to know your passwords
“Come on, what’s the big deal? What are you hiding anyway?” Social media accounts are something private that we share with our significant other when we feel like it, when we trust them in a way that they don’t have the need to check up on us, because they trust us too. But demanding to know someone’s passwords is neither healthy nor lovable.
3. Clingy
When we fall in love, it’s natural that we want to spend every single moment with that person. We want to know how they feel, how they think and how they breathe. It just feels so good, but as time passes by, we learn to live separately, yet still together. If he refuses to do so, if he still wants to spend every single second of his free time with you, you have a problem. He will ask you to ditch your friends for him and to quit your hobbies, just because he wants to be with you.
4. He stalks you
This is not something any of us is really ready to admit. He’s my boyfriend, there’s no way he can stalk me. But if you find him reading your messages, snooping around your phone and browsing history, logging into your accounts or popping up unexpectedly at your workplace or the bar where you’re with your friends, he’s a stalker. That’s not cute behavior, that’s hella creepy.
5. You oblige to his wishes
If he wants to go somewhere, you go there. Compromise is a word he’s not familiar with, neither does he want to get to know it. It’s all about him, because he knows what’s best for you anyway. If you don’t make his wishes come true, all hell breaks loose.
6. Mood swings
He’s so happy you’re finally with him, but the moment you mention a male colleague or a childhood friend, his mood changes. Even the tiniest of things make him upset or angry. He’s happiest when you’re only with him and talk only about him.
7. Constant accusations
He’s constantly accusing you of flirting with other men, no matter whether you did or not. If you talk to a man, you’re flirting. If you look at a man, you no longer love him. If you want to go out with your friends, you’re just looking for a way to cheat on him. You’re always to blame, no matter what you do and how hard you try to prove your love to him.
8. He doesn’t respect your personal space
If you’re in a relationship, why do you need space in the first place? His idea of the perfect woman is the woman who is completely submissive to him, the one he can control and the one he knows everything about. If you ask for some time alone, he gets offended, because it must mean you’re tired of him and you’re obviously hiding something. But, let’s be honest. Everybody needs some ‘me’ time.
9. Constant message-bombing
If you’re separated from him, at work or with your friends and family, he’s message-bombing you constantly. He needs to know where you are, what you are doing, how long you will be gone. You can’t have a minute’s peace without him nagging and demanding your attention.
10. He’s extremely paranoid
He’s always afraid that you will leave him, that you’re looking at other men and cheating on him. He needs to know why you’re talking to your friends, why your colleague calls after work, why you’re texting with your friends, if he is not enough, etc. He’s always in a panic, in fear that his controlling is not strong enough and you will leave, and he’s in fear of losing his favorite toy.
11. He has the need to control what you wear
That dress is too tight, that skirt is too short, those shoes look slutty. He’s trying to fit you into the mold of the perfect woman he has in his mind, regardless of how you feel about it and how hurtful it could be for you.
12. Tries to separate you from your friends
He needs to spend every single moment of his day with you, and he wants you to be available for him the moment he calls. That’s why he will slowly start turning you against your friends, talking about how he doesn’t like them, how they’re toxic for you and how you don’t need them. And it’s easier for him to manipulate you once you’re all alone and you lose your support system.
13. It’s all because he ‘loves you’
Justifying manipulation and toxic possessiveness with love is his favorite thing. He tried to cut you off from your friends, because he knows what’s best for you. He doesn’t want you to talk to other men, because he knows what they’re after. He wants you isolated, because the world is cruel and he can protect you. Jealousy is not love. Possessive behavior is not love. Remember that. No man is worthy of your freedom.
