8 Toxic Relationship Habits People Consider To Be Normal

Sometimes our actions in a relationship, or the actions of our partner, may look harmless at first, but they are actually very damaging. We tend to overlook these actions and this behavior because we were never taught how to be in a healthy relationship. We didn’t attend a course nor did we have a subject at school that was dedicated to teaching us how to treat our partner in a way that would benefit both of us. They might have shown us about contraception, but that can’t really help us much in keeping a relationship happy, nurturing and healthy. Because of that, I will tell you a few toxic habits in relationships that we overlook, thinking that they are normal, yet they are not.

1. Telling your partner that they are your ‘everything’
It’s amazing when you find someone who is loving and caring, but with telling them that they’re your ‘everything’, it’s a clear sign that you are depending on them and that with losing them you lose everything. You are telling them that you are not able to live without them and that just puts pressure on your relationship and it’s not healthy for either side.

2. Keeping a scorecard
Constantly repeating to your partner what they have done wrong and counting the times they made you feel bad just so you can throw it all in their face isn’t really normal. Wouldn’t you agree? One of you uses past wrongdoings to justify current righteousness. What you need to do is deal with the problem itself, unless they are all connected. Like if someone is constantly cheating on you, then it’s OK for you to get mad and count all the mistakes they’ve made. But wait, why are you even arguing with that person? Why don’t you discard them once and for all? Doesn’t matter.What I was trying to say is not to throw the mistakes your partner made constantly in his face.

3. Accepting everything your partner does because you love him
OK, wait a minute. You love him, so you’re going to justify his behavior because of that? You’re going to look past his aggressive behavior and the abuse, just because of that? Loving someone unconditionally doesn’t mean you need to be blind. This is an injustice to yourself.

See also: 7 Excuses I Made For My Abusive Relationship

4. Making an insensitive remark
There is a difference between joking around about something and being a jerk about it. If your partner makes an insensitive remark and passes it off as a joke, that’s just rude and he needs to figure out the fine line between those two.

5. Invading their privacy
If he’s asking for your password or reading your journal, in the name of trust it’s just invading your privacy. Trust is built through actions and he doesn’t have the right to go through your stuff.

6. Comparing your partner to other people
Especially to your exes. This behavior makes them feel like they are not good enough, it belittles them and you wouldn’t want to do that to someone you love. If you love him, love him for who he is and for all of his flaws. You want that as well, don’t you?

7. Expecting too much
There is a reasonable line between expecting what you deserve and expecting too much. You don’t want to be interrupted when you’re doing something important and neither does your partner. If he has a lot of work to do and deadlines are creeping up on him, I don’t really think that it’s OK for you to pressure him into going out with you.

8. Buying a solution to relationship problems
If you have a problem, talk it through. Sit down with your partner and talk about your emotions and how their actions made you feel. But don’t buy yourself through problems nor accept their gifts as problem solvers. The problem will come back and you will just be left with an empty bank account and a broken heart.