To My Ex: If You Listen Closely, You Can Hear Me Not Giving A Damn

I’ve moved on, darling. I don’t know why you’re still hung up on our relationship, why you still think that I’ll let you in once again. After what you’ve put me through, you honestly think that I’m naïve enough to forgive you and believe you won’t do it again? You honestly think that I’ll take you back because loneliness finally hit you? But where were you when I was broken? Where were you when I felt like I was bleeding to death? Oh yeah, you were the one holding the gun.

If you listen closely, you can hear me not giving a damn about your broken feelings. Just give me one reason why I should? Why should I care about you being lonely? Why should I care about you being afraid and broken? You made me feel the same way. You left me for another woman and never looked back. You walked away from us and now you think you have something to come back to. Darling, you wrecked everything we built together. And I no longer live in those ruins you left behind.

If you listen closely, you can hear me not giving a damn about your needs. I’m not your booty call anymore. I refuse to be one. I’m not that 3 am call anymore. I prefer my sleep over you. And let me tell you how much it improved since I realized what kind of an asshole you are. For too long I was blaming myself, thinking that you left because I wasn’t good enough. That you left because I didn’t try hard enough. But you’re just so self-involved that you never cared about me. You only cared about yourself, and you still do. You think that I believe you when you say that you’re missing me? After all this time, after all those women? Me? Honey please, I deserve a little bit more credit than that.

If you listen closely, you can hear me not giving a damn about us anymore. Because there was never an ‘us’ to begin with. It was you, only you. I was just a background actor in a movie where you were both director and star. I was there to run around when you needed me to. To jump off of buildings and then comfort you while I was falling apart. I seriously believed that’s what love looks like, but damn was I wrong. At least, now I know my worth and I know that I deserve so much more than settling for a half-assed anything—half-assed love, passion and support. I deserve to be the star in my own movie, and well, you don’t even deserve to be an extra in it.

If you listen closely, you can hear me not giving a damn about you anymore. I’ve given you everything I had. I pushed my dreams aside to help yours come to life. I made you my priority, while I was never even an option for you. You manipulated me so easily because I was so blinded with love. I was so blinded with your eyes, your smile, the way your body moved with mine, that I couldn’t see the real you. But darling, now I do. I see that you were never that bright and that good looking. I see that I was never the lucky one to have you—it was other way around. And well, like a wise woman once said, “If I wanted to commit suicide, I’d climb on your ego and jump to your IQ.” You didn’t know how to appreciate me and how to be the man I deserve. And now you want me to teach you that. You want me to show you what commitment is supposed to look like, but darling, the time when I cared about you is long gone. I’m my own Prince Charming now.