Stop Chasing Him And See What Happens – 6 Possible Outcomes

You know, the funny thing is, I keep writing how we need to wait for men to chase us, how we deserve to be chased. But then I look at myself and see that I’m busting my ass off to make my relationship work and for what? For five minutes of his time? For five minutes of love?

To hell with it!

We deserve to be chased, so why are we the ones who do the chasing? Why are we the ones who are giving all of ourself, trying so hard to make things happen? To make our relationship work?

I’ll tell you why—because we are raised and taught that we should take care of our relationship. But it takes two for love, it takes two for a relationship. There’s no point in being the only one who tries and fights. So, this one goes out to those who have had enough of busting their asses off for the wrong men.

Stop chasing him and see what happens. Any one of these six possible outcomes is still better than the place you and me both are at right now.

1. He misses you

You never know what you have until you lose it, that’s scientifically proven. And there is a high possibility of this one coming true to him. Once you start putting yourself first and all of that energy you wasted on him you start giving to yourself, he will realize that he misses you. He enjoyed the attention you were showering him with, he enjoyed being the one who was chased and now that all of it is gone, he misses it.

He will miss your laugh, your smile, your incredible energy that kept him going. But take a good hard look at your life before and at your life now. If you are enjoying the way you get to be your own center of the universe, the way you get to treat yourself as a queen, the way you truly deserve to be treated, is he really worthy of giving it all away?

If he still expects you to chase him, after weeks of him paying the bare minimum of attention to you, he must be out of his mind. And I know it’s hard to walk away from something you put so much effort into, I know it’s hard to stop chasing someone you are truly into. But it’s time he starts chasing you. It’s time he gives you that kind of love you deserve. If he doesn’t do it, ditch him!

2. Fewer bad dates, so more free time

The thing with men who want to be chased is that they’re either not interested or they need an ego boost. And you’re the one who is giving it to him. The love you have for him makes it easier for you to make many excuses for his behavior, to make so many compromises and sacrifices you wouldn’t normally make. But is he worth them all?

Every time you two were together, you had a feeling that it was borrowed time, that it was basically the only time he had in his schedule that was free, instead of him clearing out his schedule for you. Because that’s what you do when you like someone, that’s what you did for him. And now that you’re no longer going on all those bad dates, you have much more free time for yourself.

All of that time you spent waiting for him, you now have to make your dreams happen. All of that time you spent obsessing over him, wondering what the hell was going on in his mind, you get to devote to your passions and life. You have a chance to find what makes you happy, to find out the many benefits of single life. Once you fall in love with your life, everything else falls into place. Even your love life.

3. He starts chasing you

This is the time when he starts thinking selfishly. He will think about how good it is to spend time with you, how much it meant for him to have you by your side. He will think about all those dates when you had a great time together and he will naturally want to relive them again. But you’re not there anymore, so the next step is to start chasing you again.

Men are hunters or something like that but basically, they enjoy both to chase and be chased. The perfect combo then is to give him the opportunity for both. You had your share of the chasing game, you showed him that you were interested, you showed him that you two are a great match and that there are tons of things you have in common. You showed him that spending time with you is great and that texting all day long is not boring at all. Now it’s time for him to return the favor.

Stop texting him and calling him, stop giving him insight into your life and, well, pretend like you two are just acquaintances. It will turn on the panic button in his brain that he is losing you and his hunting mode is going to activate. Unfortunately, I’m not making this shit up. In this phase of cutting him off, he will start texting you and making time for you.

He will send you the most random stuff there is to send, just to start a conversation with you. He will shower you with compliments and every time you take them well, he will fill up with pride. They love the fact that they are working hard and that work is recognized. So, every time he leaves you speechless with his ‘seduction skills’, he will take it as a reward. And voila, you got yourself a man just when you stopped chasing him. Plus, you got yourself a whole bunch of free time in the process.

4. You start noticing men who are actually interested in chasing you

There is no chance you can notice anyone around you while you’re chasing someone else. That’s the way it works. You have eyes only for him so you don’t see a man who is utterly in love with you. You have ears only for him, so you can’t hear love in someone else’s voice. Because love for him took over you, you couldn’t see men who would be honored to have you by their side.

And now you give yourself a chance to do exactly that. Just because you pulled away doesn’t mean your love stopped. But instead of thinking about cutting it off completely, think about simply putting it on hold. You haven’t given up on him totally, you are just taking a break. And don’t be afraid to open up to other men while you’re doing so. You don’t have to let them in or look for love, just give someone else a chance to entertain you.

Let someone else have a chance to be a part of your life, maybe like a friend or that cute guy at the bar who boosts your mood. Or maybe something more. You never know what life can bring you and you never will if you close off to it. Don’t be afraid to take risks and don’t be afraid to meet new people. You might be pleasantly surprised in the end.

5. You get to rekindle your relations with your friends

Sometimes we tend to get lost in love so much that we slowly drift away from our people, from our friends and family. It doesn’t have to be anything huge but it’s still enough to feel distant when you finally meet up with them. It doesn’t even have to be noticeable but you can still feel it—in the way you can’t open up about struggles you’re going through, and in the way you fear that they may judge you for it. But they are your people, they will never judge you.

They are the ones who saw you ugly cry and still love you after it. They are the ones who held your hair while you were throwing up and they still love you. They are the ones who were by your side while you were going through break-ups and they are the ones who helped you to glue your broken heart back together. And they will always be the ones who will have your back.

And this is a great opportunity for you to rekindle those relationships. Plan a getaway weekend and go wine tasting with your friends or just have a weekend-long sleepover with a bunch of stupid movies and junk food. Hit the clubs and have new adventures, something you will tell your grandkids about. Think about this time as a perfect opportunity to pretend like there’s no tomorrow and tonight is the last night. So, make it count. And then every night after it and every morning that follows. Think of this as a chance to make your life something truly extraordinary.

6. You start enjoying your life

This is probably the best outcome of them all. This is the one where you fall in love with your life instead of falling in love with some asshole who doesn’t know how to appreciate you. This is the outcome where you finally see that it was him who dimmed your light, that it was him who took away your spark. Not particularly because he is a douchebag but simply because he just took away parts of you and never gave anything back.

When you are giving parts of yourself to someone, when you are putting in so much effort, so much will and so much love into someone and that someone never gives anything back, you are left hollowed. You are left empty and drained, just because you never received any of it back. And it’s simple as that. But once you learn how to be on your own, once you start enjoying spending time with yourself and once you handle the hard craft of self-love, you will be struck by how amazing life can be. And you will enjoy every single second of it!

Whatever the outcome of this may be, it will still be better than being stuck in a one-sided relationship. And you may be terrified of doing this, because he is the one you love, he is the one you decided to let in and he gambled it away. You may be scared to death to try being on your own, now that you are so used to having him around, even if you know that he shouldn’t be there anymore. But this is a risk that you owe yourself to take. Stop chasing him and see what happens—you will either lose someone you never really had or you will gain someone who will be worthy of you. Either way, it’s a win-win situation.