I Do Not Want To Be Like Your Mother; I Am Your Wife

“Mom’s sons” and “dad’s princesses” have a wonderful meaning until you get married. Then there are problems with a new way of life because it’s not something that we are used to. If you are the “lucky” girl living with him and his parents, then you know this story even better.

For the first year of our marriage, I wanted to do everything to make my husband happy, even the least banal things. I would ask him what he liked, whether he loved this soup or how he likes his meat and stuff. And he would compare everything I did to the way his mother does it.

“My mother never did a chocolate cake in this way.”

“My mother would never do this.”

And a million examples similar to these. Until I went crazy and said STOP.

Your mother does this differently, but I do it like this, and that’s the end of it.

I’m glad you’re very close to your mother, and I appreciate everything she did for you, but I’M NOT YOUR MOTHER, I AM YOUR WIFE.

I believe every couple should build an entirely new way of life, the one they enjoy the best, taking the good things of their past lives, but knowing that many of things they must do alone.

A man in his thirties, no matter how much he loves his mother, doesn’t have to run to her as soon as something terrible happens in marriage! And that is what my husband did.

If we quarreled, his mother would call me tomorrow and asked what’s wrong, and then she started counseling me. I did not want to argue; I thought she was here to help us, and I thought she might know better. In time, I started to trouble me that he tells his mother everything and that she needs to have a solution for our problems.

I know you’re going to say that I’m one of those women who isn’t made for marriage because I don’t appreciate his mother. Save your breath! I value opinions of both of our parents, but how can his mother know better what happened in our apartment than me and who started the quarrel first?

Raise your children and always be by their side, but don’t make them WEAK.

For me, these men are wimps, and these things have led to our divorce.

He is a good man, but his way of life is impossible for any woman.

Mother, love your sons, but let them fly away when they grow their wings. Don’t worry; no one will take your place. Love for a mother is one thing, and love for a wife is another thing.

Men, always take care of your mothers, but let the new woman in your life and give her all the love she needs. Let her feel strong and capable. Let her think she is essential in your life knowing that she is doing something right for you.

And don’t forget, that same wife will be a MOTHER to a boy tomorrow. Ask yourself what would you wish for him.