Before Falling In Love With The Girl Who Doesn’t Love Herself, Know This

Before Falling In Love With The Girl Who Doesn’t Love Herself, Know This

She will be the best girlfriend you ever had. She will be three people in one: your best friend, partner and lover. She will give you the love she never knew how to give herself and she will make you feel like you’re the luckiest man alive. But don’t take her gentle heart for granted. Don’t play with her emotions because she’s been through much already. Be ready to love her for both of you; to tell her every day how beautiful and amazing she is and someday, she will believe you.

Every time you tell her that she’s beautiful and she dismisses it, it’s not because she wants your attention. It’s because she doesn’t believe you. She doesn’t see the same person you do. She can’t see the beauty in her eyes and the joy in her laugh. She sees eyes that are too small and hears a laugh that’s too loud. She can’t see her beautiful face because she sees a nose that’s too big and lips that are too small. She can’t see the amazing body you love because she sees stretch marks and fat where there is none. It’s not because she wants to—it’s because she doesn’t know any different.

Every time you tell her how amazing she is and she blushes and looks away, show her you mean it. Kiss her and prove to her that she is the best thing that has ever happened to you. Every time she laughs at your compliments like they are some kind of joke, show her that they’re not. Show her that you mean them and don’t let her turn the love you two have into a joke, only because she’s afraid of it. Don’t let her laugh away the truth, just because she thinks it’s unbelievable.

Every time she worries that you’re with someone else, it’s not because she doesn’t trust you. It’s because she doesn’t trust herself. It’s because she’s used to not being enough and she believes that you will leave like everyone else did. She believes that she has nothing worth staying for because that’s what others made her believe. She imagines you with other women—with better looking, smarter and funnier women. And she keeps on wondering why you’re still here. Because she would be long gone, if she were you.

Every time she falls down, be there to help her to get back up. Be there to encourage her into believing in herself again. Be there to show her the woman you see when you see her. Show her that amazing, fierce and strong woman she is. Show her that beautiful lady you fell in love with, not the distorted version she sees in the mirror. Give her love, time and patience because learning to heal is hard, but learning to love yourself again, when you’ve been told that you’re unworthy all your life, is way harder. Fighting her past and fighting her fears is something she’s doing on a daily basis and she needs your help. Because bruises come and go, but the echoing words are what haunt her.

Don’t let her go to bed thinking she’s not enough. Don’t let her go to bed without hearing: ‘I love you’ because she will wonder every day if there is still love. She will wonder every day what’s keeping you here. What kind of miracle happened for you to choose her? It’s up to you to show her that she is that miracle—she’s the reason you’re choosing her every day. That she’s the reason you love her madly. And someday, she will believe the words that come out of your mouth. She will finally see the woman you see, and not the woman she believes she is.


April Lee