7 Reasons Why Men Are Intimidated By Strong Women
Is there something wrong with being a strong, self-sufficient, independent woman? Of course not. But men often make us feel like that’s something bad, like that’s something we should change if we want to be in a relationship.
I have been there. I was unable to keep a relationship going because I was always too much. I was too independent, too ambitious, too smart, too talkative and the list goes on. For some reason, all that I considered being my strong points became my flaws in the eyes of the men I dated.
When talking to a friend, I realized she had completely the opposite problem. She was too clingy, too dependent, and too needy. So we were in a similar situation for completely different reasons and we were both ‘failing’ at dating. What do men really want? What is their end goal?
To be able to answer that and all the other questions I went through, here are all the possible reasons why some men are intimidated by strong women:
1. We don’t waste time playing games
We simply don’t have the time or the energy to play games. We have already been there and we know that things that go back and forth will only lead us to a dead-end street and bring us a lot of pain. We don’t tolerate being ignored or begging somebody for their attention as we know that has to be given freely. We don’t wait around for texts or to be asked out. We have our own life to live and our own goals to pursue. So if a man wants to be in our life he has to stop playing games and (wo)man up.
2. We are self-sustainable
We work hard. We make our own money. And no matter what our career choices are, we always try to give our best and do more. We are passionate and driven women who want the best for ourself (and for our children, if we have them).
Men who don’t share our passion and ambition, men who make less money, feel like they are less worthy. They have some innate notion that they are the one who should be superior, especially when it comes to finances. But is it really important who makes more? A man who is comfortable with himself and where he is wouldn’t be intimidated—he would be proud.
3. We communicate our feelings
We speak our minds and don’t keep things bottled up inside. We refuse to be mistreated or spoken down to. We believe in healthy and open communication. We won’t nag all the time. But every time something hurts us, we will say it to prevent it from happening again.
4. The only thing we are ready to wait for is what we deserve
We know our own worth and we don’t allow ourself to be treated as less. We don’t want to be in a relationship just so we can say we are in one. We want a relationship that is healthy, loving and fulfilling. So we won’t wait for a man to make up his mind. We won’t wait for him to change. We will not beg someone to come back if he leaves, under any circumstances. We know if we agree to wait, we would be waiting forever.
5. We trust our instincts
If something feels off at the beginning of a relationship, we won’t force it. We will keep our distance. If we love, we love truly, no matter how scary that might be because we know that sometimes we have to risk getting hurt in order to find love.
6. We stay true to ourself
We know who we are, we know our heart is in the right place. We have our beliefs and values and we don’t want to change. We created ourself into the woman we are now and there is no need to pretend that we are something that we are not just so we wouldn’t be intimidating to some men. If we are able to accept someone for who he is, we expect the same in return.
7. We are able to take care of ourself
We don’t rely on a man to do everything for us. We don’t put on a damsel in distress mask every time our light bulb needs to be changed, our car needs some work or when we need to open a jar of honey. We know how to do it ourself or we know where someone can do it for us. If a man offers his help we might shut him down at first because we are so used to not depending on others. This is where we should be able to bend a little and let him open that jar of honey for us.
When you consider all the reasons listed above, there is nothing to be intimidated by. We don’t scare all men away, we scare away insecure men, players and men who would waste our time anyway.
The other thing I mentioned above concerning what it is that men really want, I am not sure if I can give a concrete answer to that. I guess they would want some balance between being dependent and independent, between being needy and self-sufficient, between being clingy and easy-going. Then again, for the wrong man that might be intimidating too because it would be too perfect to be true.
But if we stay true to ourself and behave the way we are supposed to, that will be more than enough for the right man. For him, a strong woman won’t be intimidating, she will be someone he is proud of.
She will be someone he doesn’t have to compare his bank account balance with because he won’t care if she makes more money than he does. She will be someone he would never play games with, and he would be someone who would say, “I know you can do everything by yourself but let me do things for you because I want to and I enjoy it.”